healwithkamalika, Author at healwithkamalika

A Simple Outlook Shift on Self Love

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Life is not easy & finding love is considered a huge blessing. A miracle. All the more for someone who always thought that he is either abandoned or neglected in every relationship. Someone who always felt unloved by everyone. No matter how much he achieved or acquired it never seemed enough. His natural response was that of self-defence. Always on guard, alert. Where was the threat? In the most sacred and most visited place – his MIND. In 2020 a deeper calling led Amit to join Meditation classes. After a few months, he progressed and also learnt Mindfulness. He went deeper and brought his practice to his daily life. He no longer avoided the negative thoughts that used to torment & haunt him, because, in his MIND he was a good person, hence negative thoughts cannot be entertained. Any negative thought about anyone, even those who constantly abused him was sinful. His guilt for feeling so about them, kept him chained to serving them, to serving only those who would use & abuse him. Leading him to mostly choose emotionally unavailable relations. Those who would only use him. This type of behaviour is an emotional addiction pattern. It is self-destructive and harmful to everyone. You letting others use & abuse you, is not only harming you it is harming the abusers as well. Most people are unaware of the damage they are causing. First, try to make them aware & if the episode is followed by changed behaviour, by all means, go ahead with it. If after 2-3 awareness sessions the behaviour remains unchanged & you are finding yourself stuck in the system, please note, that you are addicted to this behaviour. It’s you who needs a deep cleansing to reach mental clarity. It’s you who need to get stronger and take the tough call. A simple practice of daily basic meditation is going to enable you to live guilt-free and mentally stronger. More compassionate towards others & yourself. You got to do the work. Amit did. He worked deeply with his guilt mindset. Journaled and went through deeper self-healing sessions of his wounded, hurt & neglected inner child. After some months, he left the abusive relations & rekindled his relationship with his parents. Restarted his work life and is doing fantastic right now. Quit the sleeping pills and antidepressants. He understood one simple fact of life. We have no control over situations and how people treat us. But we have full control over how we respond to it. Every moment of every day. Although a constant work in progress, Amit goes through occasional heartaches, financial challenges, sickness and loss. But he is now confident that no situation, person or item can define who he is. He understood that SELF-LOVE is all about inclusiveness. Everything outside, that disturbs him inside, is for him an opportunity to turn inwards. Dive deep into his body & allow the most difficult feelings to come out. Making him free of its pressure or stress, fully alive & deeply involved with life. Your healing is simply a shift in perspective of your outlook towards life. ~ Kamalika Roy Almora, Uttarakhand, India 31.08.2022

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Journal your way to Daily Success…

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Daily journaling was quite a popular habit until Social Media infiltrated our healthy habits & took over our lives. Humans are recording and documenting their lives as an age-old stress buster for many. When we were little many of us kept a diary or a journal. We jotted down plans and wrote about people we like, and places we dream of visiting. Why journaling? In a day we think over 6000 thoughts. If you start to pay attention they are mostly patterned and are running in loops. If you start to write them down you will notice it is humanly impossible to write everything down. Even if you use a text-to-speech you won’t be able to note everything down. Hence, the purpose of journaling is to slow you down and capture that basic source from which everything is spiralling unhindered. You get a grip. You slow down. You know yourself deeply & build a trust with yourself, now that you know how your mind works. Some of my personal journaling tips – Gratitude Journal – elaborate points you feel grateful about. Jot down the points, initially 5 points per day for a month, followed by details of how you FEEL about each point and how has it made a positive & healthy difference in your life. Self-Reflective Journal – your deeper feelings about the day. Start or End your day with a journal by writing down in general how you are feeling just then. Then elaborate it. Go deeper into your feelings. Keep writing till you have a lighter feeling in your body and nothing left to put it on that paper. With a little practice you are going to get better, more intuitive and lighter. Example: I am feeling anxious. I experienced an argument with my friend on a topic that I was avoiding in my mind since a few weeks now. Her bringing it up all of a sudden left me with no choice but acknowledge how I feel about it. It was difficult at first as it made me uncomfortable due to the shame attached to it… continue pouring your heart out. Vision Board – goals you want to achieve with detailed feelings associated with it. What went well today – and how you feel about it. What went not so well today – and how did you feel about it. Your own idea of journaling – Be candid, open with yourself, no one is watching, don’t hide at all. What really happens when we journal daily? Clarity. Immense and intense clarity. Let’s understand this from the perspective of the body. Every situation you are into or you want to manifest, is basically an experience your body is craving for or wanting to experience. A dream job. A vacation. That car. The new gadget. Wanting to settle down with your partner. Planning to have a baby. Trying to come out of addiction. Wanting to get better at your daily life by fixing your mental health. Want to cure anxiety or depression. Lose weight. Wake up on time. Anything under the sun. Absolutely anything. Is an experience. Let me invite you to journal about it daily. On a paper write down word by word, by carving out time and knowing yourself deeper, truer and clearer. Wouldn’t life get easier & more fulfilling if only you knew you better? This is your miraculous opportunity to do just that. Know yourself one word, one emotion, one mental patter, one conscious decision at a time. Eventually i guarantee you, your life so far will start to make sense. How nothing, absolutely nothing that has happened was out of order. How every single episode and event was literally your will. You willed your life to happen so far. Why not will it the way you like, the way you want, not jumbled up, confused half hearted will. But a clear, confident, bolder and fully you WILL. You got this. Let’s do it.

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You are just not Sleeping Right!

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WE DO NOT NEED 8 HOURS OF SLEEP. WE NEED LESS THAN 6. SAVE 2 HOURS A DAY. 730 HOURS A YEAR. Sleep issues??? Raise your hands if you too are facing sleeping issues. Can I be straightforward here? If you aren’t sleeping well then you have a poor relationship with yourself. How so? Your body is not confident that you are capable of keeping it alive if it’s not alert. No matter how much categorisation happens, sleep if not proper is a clear indication you aren’t good with yourself. And you already know it. Now lets see what are the most known/reported/researched symptoms. Categorisation– Common Insomnia – Difficulty staying asleep. Even if you doze off, you wake up all alert. Sleep Apnea – a potentially serious sleep disorder in which breathing repeatedly stops and starts. -Loud snoring; -stop breathing while you are asleep and observed by someone else; -Gasping for breath while asleep; -Morning headache or groggy; -Hypersomnia – sleepy during the day; -Loss of focus/attention; -Irritability – because you aren’t calm. Restless Legs Syndrome – is a condition that causes an uncontrollable urge to move the legs, usually because of an uncomfortable sensation. It typically happens in the evening or night-time hours when you’re sitting or lying down. Moving eases the unpleasant feeling temporarily. REM (rapid eye movement) Sleep Behaviour Disorder – the most common, Rapid eye movement (REM) sleep behaviour disorder is a sleep disorder in which you physically act out vivid, often unpleasant dreams with vocal sounds and sudden, often violent arm and leg movements during REM sleep — sometimes called dream-enacting behaviors. Uncommon Narcolepsy – is a chronic sleep disorder characterized by overwhelming daytime drowsiness and sudden attacks of sleep. Also hallucinations. Parasomnia – – Sleepwalking – Night terrors – Nocturnal sleep-related eating disorder – Teeth grinding.Now that you know the symptoms and have identified with one lets see how can it be fixed. I would be so happy if you have identified with none and are sleeping well and for 5-6 hrs. When I say not good with yourself, I mean body & mind.What food are you consuming, how many workout hours a week? Do you drink? Smoke? Roll a joint? Do drugs? Engage with multiple sexual partners? Consume more non-Vegetarian than Vegetarian? Think self-provocative or self-critical thoughts? Always conscious of yourself? Constantly plotting, prodding, and calculating how to behave in front of others? A heart full of negating thoughts? A mind constantly wary of ways you are going to have to prove yourself?Everything that makes you anxious, is your way of not being good with yourself. If you are not STILL and PRESENT you are not good with yourself. Because you are not even with yourself. You are somewhere else in your head. Due to which you are constantly on a state of alert. As, in your body you are never home. This constant state of alert has got your nervous system deregulated. Weak. Jumpy. Sensitive. You need to rebuild it back to good health, regulated and resilient.And by avoiding tough situations, difficult conversations or escaping is not going to present to you a regulated nervous system. On the contrary facing them all, will get you a better nerve. Will make you confident, resilient and open. It will bring you home to yourself. It will let you sleep deeper & restful.As per research an average adult in their 8 hrs of sleep only gets about 30 minutes to 1.5 hrs of deep sleep. The remaining 6.5 hrs are wasted into falling into that deep restful zone. Hence an absolute waste. Those who are insomnia patient they have difficulty staying asleep. Not falling asleep. Even if they fall asleep, they would wake up because the body is stressed not restful. Stress is not bad. It is stress due to which our basic functionality happens. But when we hold onto the stress and do not let it flow naturally, it gets accumulated and build tension. Volumes of tension and stress in the body makes the nervous system weak, deregulated and sensitive. One touch on your already tired nerves and you are all defensive, protective and alert. The solution – Yoga Asanas Meditation MindfulnessNot just figuratively. When you practice Yoga Asanas under the guidance of a proper instructor whose focus is on the Asana and posture correction and how long can you stay in a pose and not quick weight loss or how how quickly can you finish the asana, you will by experience get attuned to your body. Your internal systems will start to respond bringing you to a certain level of stillness. Your breath will still. Which in turn help you sit in dhyaana or meditation further aiding you to still your body and mind. Along with meditation also practice mindfulness to start coming back to the moment.This whole lifestyle will gradually get you to facing your stress with ease, grace and openness. You will not be dependent on comfort. Aiding you to sleeping deeper and more restful.If you need help to start you may join my free meditation program via Telegram app. https://t.me/+ZGe8FPDoN18xZTk1

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Focus on your RESPONSE!

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Why do I ask you to only Focus on your RESPONSE? Think about it. Every situation – a conversation, that project you are working on, the lunchtime conversations, the parties you attend, the vacations you go to; that latest gadget you got yourself, the car you drive, the food you eat. Your personal space. Your home, family. Everything that is happening around matters only if it is based on and felt through your response towards each one of them. How you respond to the little things and to the big things is all that really matters. If you are neutral in a situation or are unaffected by it, then it doesn’t really matter. As they say, it’s all MIND over MATTER. Hence, if you don’t MIND, it doesn’t really MATTER. So let’s see how we constantly and continuously mind everything around us, take it to heart and forget about this miracle that nature has presented us with, minding our own response. Technically, when someone rudely instructs us to mind our own business, we shouldn’t be taking it rudely, rather to be the need of the hour and start to bring our focus inwards and mind our response. Because only our response is our business. Nothing else can ever be our business. It’s just not possible. Because unless we respond nothing really happens. Existence as we know it, is basis our response to it. You may then ask, what if I simply keep quiet, keep away, do not respond. Well then I would tell you that this mere thought you are thinking that I won’t respond, is your response. This choice you took of not responding, reacting and staying away is your response. Silence is a response. Retaliation is a response. Bad mouthing is a response. Defending someone who is not present at the table is a response. Keeping quiet at the face of conflict is a response. Looking away from an injured stray animal is a response. Killing a mosquito is a response. Letting others abuse you in whichever way is a response. Thinking about how you must respond, in that very moment is a response. Thus, it doesn’t matter at all on what situation we are in, but everything to do it how is our response to it. The response decides and governs the next moment. And the next. And so on. The more you focus on this you transform your daily life such that you literally witness one moment leading to another seamlessly. Isn’t it a miracle in itself?

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